And I’m just standing there thinking, “Yeah bro. Cool thought. Want to write my record and observation for me? Due to tomorrow. 22 programs, algorithms and results”. Then I thought about it. Why would anyone say that they miss college? So here’s the top 5 reasons, according to me, why people tend to get nostalgic about college life.
(This post is entirely satirical. That automatically implies that no offence should be taken. Then again, I’m in college. I’m entitled to make fun of older people and get away with it).
So here goes.
1) Their current job sucks.
When I say that, it must be really bad. Let’s face it, sitting in theory class is the most boring thing in the life of a human being. If you’ve landed yourself a job that’s so bad that it tops that, sincere
condolences from all of us.
Yes, we try to make class interesting by passing chits with funny stuff written on it – Actually we don’t. That stuff died in world war 2, didn’t you hear?
Other forms of in-class entertainment include pen fights( dead since the advent of single seater desks), bingo(admittedly fun but it’s tough to hide your emotions when you win. Especially when the whole class is silent- silently asleep).
2) Pessimistic satanists born to take the happiness out of your world.
I mean, seriously, who tells a teenager that the happiest they are ever going to be is in the sad confines of college? We get 3 weeks of vacations. Is that what you’re jealous of? Guess what. Most of us need to intern and do projects and all that in that time. To what end you ask? To get a sad job exactly like yours. I hope that makes you feel better you happiness sucking monster.
3) Stockholm syndrome
So basically what happened in Stockholm was that a guy was kidnapped and kept in captivity for so long that eventually he got emotionally attached to his captors. He didn’t want to be rescued.
Quite the same here if you ask me. The kidnapper in this case being the education system. It’s that feeling you get when you see a 4 year old practising ABCs (Nowadays I think they start learning them earlier – when they’re 10 days old or something. Pre-Pre nursery tutitions and stuff). You think you miss learning the ABCs so you tell the kids that it’s the easiest thing they’ll ever learn in their lives and you miss doing it but trust me, you don’t want to go back to writing the ABCs 1000 times. You just don’t.
4) Historically moulded, Traditionally accepted conversation continuer
Half those people I’m referring to probably don’t miss college at all. What usually happens is, you say “Ah. College life. Don’t waste them man. They’re the best days of your life” and then break into stories about college and how sad it used to be and how you bunked those boring classes and basically how college really sucked and was no good. But it gets the conversation going now that you can argue about whether college was worse back then or now.
“When I was in college, in the late 90s, we used to have a dress code! Beat that!”
“We still do. And it’s the same as yours. Beat that”
“What! No kidding! Fine fine. We used to have that computer mouse with a mouse ball and we’ve flicked so many of those mouse balls!”
“Oh. That was you guys. They still haven’t replaced those balls..”
5) It’s true.
You can make as much fun of college life as you want but it’s true- It’ll never be better than this. You could exhaust these years that you have by confining yourself to a boring robotic schedule or you could make the best of it and explore the world with the people you spend more time with than your family- Friends. But that’s upto you. If you choose not to do it, you’ll find yourself, 20 years down memory lane, advising some random teenager not to waste his college life.
But you know what? That’s true of life as well. Whatever you do, do it well, do it now and do it only if it makes you happy. If you don’t, when you look back, you’ll have more regrets than memories- More advice to give than stories to share
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